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  “I had no idea,” I tell Beth, finding myself wanting to talk more. “First thing I knew about it was when they sent me away to live with Nan and told me never to speak with Jenny and my other friends again.”

  Beth doesn’t say anything, just snuggles into me.

  “That’s why we moved here,” I continue, slipping my arm around her. “It was supposed to be a fresh start, but she’s never gotten over it.”

  “Is that why she’s all weird with us?” she asks, still keeping her arms looped around my waist. “Because she’s scared we’ll pick on her too.”

  “I guess…” But what stops me agreeing with Beth is the fact Chrissie was weird well before Goldmeads.

  “I still think she plays you,” says Beth after we’d just been hugging in a comfortable silence.

  “Perhaps,” I concede. “But she really does get scared.”

  “Okay, I’ll give her a break.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Now, what do you want me to do?”

  I look at Beth, perfect, pretty Beth. Beth with her long brown hair, her big brown eyes, white smile, and perfect summer-brown skin, and then I look back at my laptop, at her dressed as Anna, and how different she looks with auburn plaits, blue eyes, and OTT cartoon makeup. If she can transform herself into Anna, then perhaps…

  “Rich, what are you planning?”

  I turn to face her, the idea filling me with energy. “I want you to change Chrissie.”

  “What?”

  I turn my laptop round so she can see the same thing as me. “Can you give Chrissie a makeover? If she didn’t look so weird, then the other girls might give her a break.”

  She glances in the direction of Chrissie’s bedroom before cringing. “Rich, she won’t even come in the same room as me — there’s no way she’ll let me do her hair and makeup.”

  “Yes, she will.” I pull Beth to her feet before she has time to think of another excuse.

  “But we were going to spend the afternoon finishing the film!”

  “I can finish it off,” I tell her. “Please, Beth, for me?”

  Chapter 4

  I receive a text from Beth to say they were ready, and to come round hers at five. Passing the circle of oak trees where we filmed Shrek, that first summer after we met at Brown’s Acting Academy, this ache opens up inside me, and hating Dad all over again, I climb over the gate into Beth’s yard, to find myself surrounded by a gaggle of waddling snow-white geese.

  Like she always does, Lucky, their sheepdog, bounds over, and after I fuss with her ears for a bit, I let her herd me towards the back door, where the smell of apple pie reminds me just how hungry I am.

  “Hello, Rich,” says Beth’s mum with her back to me as she takes another tray of pies from their gigantic oven. “Ready for the big unveiling?”

  I like her mum; she looks somewhat like Beth, only her long hair is beaded, and her pink cheeks always have flour on them. “Does she look good?”

  “We’re under strict instructions not to say anything,” she replies with a big grin. “And you’re not to go upstairs either; Beth wants you to wait in the conservatory.”

  “Okay,” I agree. “Are Dave and Stew here?”

  “Got here just before you,” says Beth’s dad, walking straight over to the fridge and getting himself a bottle of cider. “I told Beth if you want to invite some more of your mates over, that’s cool.”

  Even though they’re being nice, I feel miserable as he reminds me I’m being packed off to St. Bart’s in a couple of days.

  “Boarding school isn’t all bad,” he tells me as if reading my thoughts. “I went to one myself.”

  “You did?” I can’t believe her dad went to boarding school. I always thought he’d grown up on some hippie commune, because he had a long beard even before hipsters became fashionable.

  “I chose a different life, Rich,” he says, taking a swig from the bottle. “Education expands the mind, and fortunately for me, mine expanded so much I was able to break out from the rat race and do something more meaningful with my life.”

  Beth’s mum hands me a huge slice of hot apple pie smothered in their homemade cream, and I can’t help it. I wish my parents were farmers too, so we’d have a nice home that we wouldn’t have to keep leaving.

  “There will always be a bed here for you, Rich,” her mum tells me. “And now Mark’s at Leeds, he can give you a lift back when you get one of those exeat weekends.”

  Chillaxing in the conservatory with the guys, I finish off my second piece of pie.

  “What are the people like who bought your house?” Dave asks from where he’s sprawled out on one of the armchairs with a Coke.

  “All right, they’ve got three daughters.”

  “Three!” Stew sits up so quickly he almost falls off the sofa. “What are they like?”

  “Cute,” I say. “Especially the youngest.”

  “Blond or brunette?” asks Dave.

  “Blond,” I tell him, fighting the urge to laugh. “Blue eyes, laughs a lot.”

  “She with anyone?” Stew tries to sound casual, but his round face makes him so transparent. Stew’s girl mad; but girls aren’t that mad about him. He’s usually got bigger tits than they have.

  “Don’t think so,” I reply with a big smirk on my face. “She’s three.”

  “Bastard!” Stew hurls an orange at me.

  Laughing, I catch it. I’m going to miss them, I really am.

  “How much longer is Beth going to be?” Stew complains, finishes his Coke, and takes another one. “What’s she up to anyway that’s so top secret?”

  “She’s giving Chrissie one of those makeovers.”

  Dave almost chokes. “You’re kidding, right?”

  “No.” I know they’re my mates, but I’m not having them say anything about my sister. “Girls like doing that kind of stuff.”

  “Normal girls!” Dave laughs.

  “Are you trying to say my sister isn’t normal?” I’m getting hot again, and it isn’t the sun making me burn.

  “Leave it, Rich,” Stew begs, playing his usual role of peacemaker. “He doesn’t mean anything by it, but Chrissie, well, she’s kind of…”

  “Kind of what?” I demand.

  “Well,” Stew stammers. “She doesn’t talk to anyone, except, well — you.”

  “She does!” I snap, even though I can’t think of anyone. “She’s just shy.”

  “If you say…” Stew shrugs. “Sorry…”

  “Yeah, sorry…” Dave echoes.

  I let it drop because they have, but I’m still not happy. We drink and talk some more, and even though it’s one of the brightest summer days, there’s a thunderstorm hanging over me. Once again, I’m falling out with my friends because of Chrissie. I check my watch and try to enjoy my last Saturday with my best mates, but I can’t; there’s just too much tension pressing down on me.

  A rush of footsteps coming down the stairs makes us all sit up, and a second later, Beth sticks her head round the door. “Ready?”

  I nod, and as Beth pushes the door open to reveal the results, just as they do in those reality programs, I have to blink twice. I can’t believe that’s my skinny, awkward-looking twin standing in front of me.

  Chrissie giggles as Dave lets out a long wolf whistle and Stew sucks in his stomach. I don’t know how, but in a few short hours, Beth’s transformed Chrissie — it’s no less incredible than the special effects in the last Spielberg.

  “What do you think, Rich?” Chrissie’s dull, matted blond hair is now long, silky waves, and the makeup makes her skin and eyes glow.

  “You look great!” I get up so I can get a closer look at her in her pink strappy dress. “And so tall!”

  “Skyscraper heels,” she says, waving her foot at me. “Do you really think I look good?”

  “Ask them!” I tell her, nodding in the direction of Dave and Stew, who look like a right couple of dorks with their open mouths. “Well?”

  They both nod,
and then we all laugh the thunderstorm away as Chrissie spins around and poses while Dave takes pictures of her with his mobile.

  Standing before Beth, I find myself falling into her lovely big, brown eyes. “Thanks. I knew you could do it.”

  “Do I win the Oscar for best makeup artist?”

  “I’ll let you know after the film.” She’s been my best friend since we arrived, so why is it when I’m about to leave, I fall in love with her?

  Chapter 5

  In honour of our last-ever production, we had popcorn and Stew poured some vodka into the Coke as we watched Snowzen on the giant flat-screen in Beth’s conservatory.

  Dave and Stew, who’ve suddenly decided my sister’s cool now that she looks like she belongs on some magazine cover, sit with her on one sofa, while I crash with Beth on the other. Just to make it clear, I don’t want to share her, I put my arm around her shoulders the way friends do, the way I’ve done a million times before, only today it feels like I’m doing something undercover.

  “I’m glad you decided on the spray foam,” Beth says, still using my chest as a pillow. “Even though it doesn’t look like snow.”

  “I’d be an idiot not to listen to you,” I confess, distracted by her perfect dancer’s legs. Her dress is way too short. “You always come up with the best endings.”

  “And you always know how to get the best out of them,” she tells me, her face moving nearer to mine. “You even managed to make the polystyrene look cold.”

  I swallow as once again all I can do is think about kissing her.

  “I think that’s my best performance yet,” Dave mumbles with a mouthful of popcorn. “I was a very convincing Hans. As soon as you upload it to YouTube, thousands of girls around the world will be begging me to take them out!”

  “He wishes.” Beth sniggers in my ear.

  The moment’s broken. I’m wishing now I’d insisted on playing Hans; at least I would have got to kiss her, even if it was only acting.

  “Time to party,” says Stew. “Give Rich a proper send-off.”

  “I agree.” Dave jumps to his feet and extends his hand towards Chrissie after doing some elaborate bow. “Care to join us?”

  She looks at me, as if trying to ask me something with a searching look, but I never know what she’s thinking, and after a while she just shrugs and follows Dave out.

  “Coming?” asks Beth, waving her hand in front of my eyes.

  “Yes,” I say, waking up.

  She smiles and takes my hand as we head out. She’s relaxed and comfortable with me because I’m still her best friend, Rich; it’s me who’s on edge because I want more.

  The Youth Centre is the only place to hang out in the village because everyone knows we’re underage. Unfortunately, my chances of sitting next to Beth are ruined when Chrissie sits next to me in the back of the jeep. I don’t know if it’s me just seeing what I want to see, but I think Beth’s disappointed too.

  There’s so many kids trying to cram into the church hall, they’re spilling out into the car park. Sam, who’s back from uni for the summer, is deejaying, and as he’s better than Fatboy Slim at mixing, the dance floor’s packed.

  Stew joins some of his mates from college at the pool table, while Dave, Beth, Chrissie, and I, with a bit of persuasion from Dave, hit the dance floor and just let ourselves go.

  Beth dances really well; she’s classically trained, so whatever the music, she always seems to know how to move her body to look cool — cool and so very sexy.

  “Where’s my present?” She has to pull me down and shout into my ear so I can hear her over the thumping bass.

  I’m glad there was vodka in the Coke, because I’d never have the nerve to pull her this close to me, the way I’m feeling now. “What present?”

  She giggles, her cheeks bright pink. “My kiss for making Chrissie hot.”

  My mind empties. I’ve played her lover twice, memorised the most romantic lines ever written, and been fantasying about this moment for weeks, and all I can do now is stand there like a mute moron.

  “I thought you liked me.”

  “I do,” I manage to stammer. “I like you a lot.”

  She smiles and takes my hand. Me, I tell you, if Steven Spielberg walked in and told me he wanted me to co-direct on his next project, I’d have probably handled it better.

  “You want to go outside?”

  I nod.

  “Well, you coming or not?”

  “Coming,” I somehow stammer, and with her leading the way, I follow her round the back of the hall where there aren’t any lights and we can be alone.

  “I’m going to miss you,” she says, giving my hand a squeeze. “You will write to me, won’t you?”

  I nod, my mind blank. Even though I’ve imagined this happening loads of times over the last couple of weeks, now that it is, it still doesn’t seem real.

  “Liar,” she says, slapping my arm playfully. “You’ll forget about me the moment you’ve gone.”

  “No, I won’t.”

  “Sure?” she teases, drawing circles round my heart with her fingertip. “What happens when all those pretty girls start throwing themselves at you?”

  My fingers are shaking so much when I go to brush her cheek she has to hold my wrist to steady them. “Why would I want any of them when I’m with the prettiest girl in the world?”

  She loops her arms around my neck and leans into me, her eyes never leaving mine. “So how come we never got together?”

  “Because I’m an idiot,” I tell her, finally starting to relax and enjoy the moment. “An idiot who’s going to miss you like crazy.”

  I’ve kissed girls before, but I’m as terrified as I was when Jenny Metcalf gave me my very first kiss at the drama club Christmas party when I was ten.

  My lips touch hers, gently at first. In case she’s made a mistake and wants to go back to being just friends, I want to make this one and only kiss last forever. Then I hear her moan, and realising she wants me as much as I want her, I deepen the kiss, and beneath the moonlight, we stop being just friends.

  “Rich!”

  My lips refusing to leave Beth’s, I groan as I hear Chrissie calling me.

  “Rich, where are you?”

  I try to ignore her, but I can’t. I can hear the tears building up in her voice, and I can’t stay here with Beth, even though it’s the only thing I want.

  “Ignore her,” whispers Beth, her lips nibbling at my neck.

  I try to block out Chrissie’s voice as I lose myself in kissing Beth again, but the guilt won’t leave me alone. “I can’t.”

  Beth pushes me away. “Don’t you see?” she cries, her eyes filling with tears. “She plays up every time someone takes you away from her.”

  “Rubbish.”

  “Not rubbish!” she yells, body trembling with rage. “Rich, she got sick when you were supposed to go camping with Dave, got a panic attack on that skiing trip, and now we’ve finally got it together…”

  “I’ll be right back,” I promise, deciding it’s best to ignore the whole crying thing. “Just as soon as I know she’s all right.”

  “Don’t bother!” Hugging herself, Beth walks back towards the music.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To find someone else to dance with!”

  I kick the wall and cry out as I smash my big toe. Hopping on the spot as my foot explodes with pain, I watch Beth walk away, but I can’t go running after her. Ignoring Chrissie hurts even more than my foot. I go to kick the wall again, change my mind, then, after a bit of searching, find Chrissie sitting at the bus stop in the dark.

  “You okay?”

  “I thought you said I looked pretty.” Rocking back and forth, she fixes her sad blue eyes on me.

  “You do,” I tell her, not sure where this is heading. “Why, what’s happened?”

  “No one asked me to dance, and when Dave got off with Amber Miller…”

  I can’t believe she dragged me away from Beth for thi
s. I’ve blown things big time for nothing.

  “Rich?”

  “What?”

  “Rich?” she shakes my arm. “Why didn’t anyone ask me to dance?”

  “Because it happens!”

  “Doesn’t happen to you!”

  “I get blown off all the time,” I snap. “Now are you coming back inside or not?”

  “You only want to go back inside so you can screw Beth!”

  For a horrible moment, this sick feeling bubbles up inside, and for the first time ever, I think Beth’s got a point about Chrissie, and before I say something I’m going to regret, I get up and go.

  “Rich, I’m sorry.”

  I try to shake her off me, but she just holds on even tighter.

  “I just get scared when you’re not around,” she sobs, refusing to give up. “After Goldmeads and Jenny Metcalf…”

  I stop. The words act like a magic spell, reminding me I shouldn’t be angry with her, because when I thought she was dead, I prayed to God I’d never complain about her suffocating me again as long as He let her live.

  “I’m sorry,” she says, still crying as she tries to get me to hold her. “I know I’m a pain, but when they all crowded around me, it reminded me of when all the girls cornered me in the gym and…”

  “It’s all right.” Just because Goldmeads was a long time ago doesn’t mean she’s over it, and giving in like I always do, I let her hug me. “Now can we go back inside?”

  To my relief, she stops crying, and on the way back in, I give Chrissie the lowdown on what guys like. It takes me all of two minutes, slightly longer than it does for some bloke to hit on her. I make her go with him, even though she doesn’t want to, then prowl the dance floor as I debate how to get Beth away from this smug, cocky guy who could kick my butt with one hand tied behind his back. There’s no easy way. I’m just going to have to go for it.

  “Beth!” I tap her on the shoulder, jealousy making me far braver than I really am.

  She glances at me once before returning her attentions to the other guy, who just grins at me. I’m mad now.

  “Beth!”

  “Go away!”

  “Beth!” I take a step forward, ready to fight or die trying.

  This time she smiles at me, and after whispering something in the other guy’s ear, moves her arms from around his neck to mine.

  “Steve’s a mate from dance class,” she tells me.