Dating Down Page 18

  “Is that what he said?” I’m surprised. Kate is really pretty, and she’s all serious and grown up like Bill.

  “No, he hasn’t got a clue, and even if he did, he’s far too nice to say anything like that. Luckily for me he isn’t interested in Ruth either.”

  She’s right; Bill takes about as much interest in Ruth as he does the wall clock. Unfortunately for me, Ruth decides to throw herself at Gary, who’s just come back in.

  “Don’t,” says Kate, pulling me back down when I stand. “Gary gets around, but something tells me he won’t cheat on you.”

  “How do you know?” I can just about see him and Ruth talking by looking at their reflections in the mirror next to the slot machine.

  “You’re the first one he’s ever brought to meet all of us.” She smiles, taking a sip of her pint. “And this is the first time in ages he isn’t drinking himself into oblivion.”

  I feel sad and happy at the same time. Sad because Gary was miserable for so very long and toe-tingling happy because he likes me, and I mean really likes me! I don’t know why I have such a problem accepting it, especially when we were making out on the sofa earlier, but I know from listening to the girls that just because you make out with a guy doesn’t mean he wants to go out with you.

  I continue to watch Gary in the mirror. Ruth is explaining something to him and waving her arms about in the process, and he keeps trying to sidestep her. It makes me laugh. I hope he’s trying to get away to come back to me.

  “He’s had a bad year,” Kate continues, and I have to strain to hear her above all the talking, chinking glasses, and electronic buzz of the slot machines. “They both have, but Gary, well, you know....”

  I can guess; I’ve seen the surface of his pain.

  “Still,” she says. “He seems to be back to his old self.”

  Gary’s rolling his eyes and trying to push past Ruth, but she keeps barring his way.

  “And what is his old self?”

  “Well, he’s like most of them from round here,” she tells me. “He likes drinking; football of course, has sex on the brain. Mind you, what guy doesn’t?”

  She laughs like I must know all of this, and so I do.

  “But Gary, he was going places; or he was before Grace died. Bill says he hardly ever draws anymore, and before it was a struggle to get him out when he was working on something.”

  “He was drawing with Jack earlier,” I tell her.

  “Really?” Kate raises one of her thin blond eyebrows.

  “Yes. They seemed to be having fun.”

  “Well, let’s hope he keeps it up,” says Kate. “Grace was chuffed to bits when he got accepted into Brunel. She sent off his application. He didn’t think he was good enough, even though the school said he was some kind of prodigy...”

  We drink and talk some more. Gary teaches me how to play pool, and we challenge Bill and Kate to a game. They win, but I don’t mind, because I have Gary, and he keeps finding excuses to show me how to hold the cue so he can kiss my neck and give me loads of delicious cuddles.

  “Another beer, Gary?” Climbing over the back of the round settee so we don’t all have to get out, Pete gets to his feet.

  “No thanks.” Gary’s drawing again, this time for Ella. Kate’s daughter wants a picture of a pony, and he agrees to do it on the condition she’ll leave us alone.

  “You sickening for something?” Pete enquires.

  “No.” He’s very focused when he draws. He doesn’t even look up. It’s like he isn’t aware of anything or anyone else whilst he’s working, and he’s got Ella on his lap. I wish I could concentrate like him.

  “You’ll have another one, won’t you, Tammy?”

  I shake my head. I’m already feeling giddy.

  Pete shrugs, and I go back to watching Gary draw. I can’t believe how easy he makes it look. In no time at all he’s drawn this horse that is so good it looks like something you’d see in a Disney cartoon. Ella is ecstatic.

  “Can you do a dog too?” Ella asks, giving him another sheet of paper and a green crayon.

  “No.” Gary pulls her off his lap and sets her down on the ground. “You want a dog – you do it yourself.”

  She pouts, but as soon as she realises she isn’t going to get her own way, she stretches out on the carpet next to Jack and starts to colour in her picture with a pink crayon.

  Gary chuckles to himself and slips his arm around my shoulders. “I should charge. I’d make a fortune.”

  “Don’t be so mean.” I hit his arm playfully. “Anyway, you seemed to be enjoying yourself.”

  “Yeah,” he says. “But I’d be having much more fun at home with you.”

  I freeze as the mood shifts from playful to serious.

  “Do you want to go back?” he asks.

  “Yes.” I know what he’s really asking and what I’m saying yes to.

  “Sure?” His eyes go dark and serious as he seeks out the confirmation he needs in my face.

  I nod. There’s a lump in my throat which stops me speaking. I’m not sure if I’m scared or excited, but the one thing I do know is that this isn’t happening too fast. He saved my life and I helped him find his again, and every time he touches me, I come alive.

  He smiles, fingers brushing my cheek lightly, pressing his lips to mine, and just like the very first time he kissed me, it’s so soft and tender I just melt into him. Had his arm not been round me, I think I would have ended up beneath the table because my legs turn to jelly.

  “Give it a break, you two,” Bill complains, throwing a beer mat at Gary.

  Gary breaks the kiss and hurls the beer mat back at Bill. “I’ll see you back home,” he says, climbing out over the back of the settee. “Don’t rush back.”

  A couple of his mates give him a knowing wink as he helps me over the seat. I bet they know it’s going to be my first time. I couldn’t make it more obvious if I tried.

  “Ignore them,” says Gary, leading me back through the crowded bar. “They’re idiots.”

  I don’t think his friends are stupid, but I appreciate him trying to make me feel better.

  “Wait here.” Dropping my hand, he leaves me by the slot machine.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Where do you think?” He nods in the direction of the toilets. “Unless you want to go in yours to buy them?”

  I die ten times over on the spot when I realise what he’s talking about.

  “You are funny.” Wrapping his arms around me, he pulls me to him and kisses me just one more time on the lips. “I don’t half love you.”

  Time stops. I look at him, and he looks at me.

  “What did you say?” I think I must be dreaming, or I imagined it.

  “I said I love you,” he says, his dark-brown eyes pulling me into him.

  It’s a crowded pub. It stinks of dirty carpets and stale beer and chips. I keep getting shoved from right to left as people try to get to the bar and clear away glasses, and we’re standing right outside the toilets. It’s hardly the most romantic of places for him to declare his love.

  It takes us forever to get back to his. We keep stopping off to kiss: at the pedestrian crossing waiting for the lights to change, in the alleyway that is supposed to be a shortcut between his house and the corner shop. I don’t care. I love the attention, and I love all the disapproving looks even more, because everyone can see just how much he loves me.

  At last, alone in his room, he closes the door, quickly makes his bed, then spends forever using his hands to try and smooth out creases in the quilt. “There.” He takes a step back. “Perfect.”

  We look at each other, panting, both wanting it but neither one of us able to make the first step.

  “You are sure about this?” he asks, standing there all awkward with his hands in his pockets. “I mean, we don’t have to...”

  I’m nervous. My insides are quivering, but I’m not scared, because I know he’ll look after me. “I want to.”

  He
smiles nervously at me. I can’t believe he’s scared. He must have done it a thousand times. “Sure?”

  “Sure,” I tell him.

  I always imagined my first time would be in a really nice hotel. After sipping champagne, we’d make love in a king-size bed with white satin sheets and red rose petals sprinkled on the pillows. There’d be music playing in the background, like that James Blunt song or the Aerosmith one, and the room would be lit by hundreds of those little candles. I’d be in a long white silk gown, white stockings of course, and Manolo Blahniks. Unable to resist me, he’d slowly kiss his way down my neck before scooping me up in his arms and carrying me to the bed.

  Now it’s going to happen, none of that seems to matter. All you really need is someone who loves you, and Gary does love me. Wrapping my arms around him as he nuzzles into my neck, I look up at the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the ceiling above his bed. I don’t need them to remind me I’m in heaven.

  Friday 4:00 p.m.

  Gary

  I don’t want to waste a second of my time with her, but she looks so pretty with her copper curls spread out over my pillow that I can’t wake her, and so I just sit there in my chair and watch her for a bit, and then I start to draw her so I can capture the magic forever.

  My cigarette burns down to a skeleton of ash, and I don’t even notice. A few more soft lines here and there, and in my mind I make love to her all over again. Funny, that. Until she came along, it was just sex, a shag, or a good screw, and that’s all the others were. It wasn’t like that with Tammy. It was special, intense. I need her picture close by, because when she goes home, my bed’s going to feel very empty.

  She sighs and starts to wake, and I find myself smiling as I see her hand search for me. I can’t believe I’m the first thing she reaches for. It feels good. I feel good.

  “Over here.”

  Two sleepy blue eyes blink up at me. “What are you doing?”

  “Drawing you.” I add some more texture to her hair, make her lips fuller. She’s got nice lips, nice everything...

  “Can I see?” She sits up, at all times keeping the duvet wrapped around her.

  “Not until I finish.” I put it to one side and climb into bed alongside her, eager to feel her skin against mine, as she won’t let me see her.

  “Spoilsport.”

  I can’t stop myself from laughing, especially when she curls over her bottom lip and starts sulking because she can’t get her own way. Gathering her up in my arms, I pull her in close, shuddering as her leg slides in between mine.

  “Why won’t you show me?”

  “’Cos it’s not finished.” Breathing in her scent, I close my eyes and hold her tight. She smells of flowers and mints, and she’s all mine.

  “But I want to see.” She tries to wriggle out from my arms, but she’s got no chance. I’m never going to let her go.

  “When it’s finished,” I tell her. “But I’ll need you to sit, or rather lie for me a few more times.”

  “So you want to do it again?” she teases.

  “Yeah, don’t you?” Her body’s warm against mine, her pale skin like silk, and just the sensation of her finger on my arm drives me crazy. If she ever realises what power she holds over me, I’m in real trouble.

  She giggles and snuggles into my side. “So, I did everything right?”

  “Better than all right.” I don’t know what else to say without making myself even more vulnerable. “Was I okay?”

  “Yes.” She peeks up from beneath the covers, the smile on her full lips reassuring. “It was nice. I can’t really explain it, but I feel like nothing can ever come between us. Like we’re as close as we can be, and you’re part of me. Do you know what I mean?”

  I know exactly what she means, but I don’t tell her. She’s inside me too, and I’m never going to be the same again. It terrifies me how much I need her.

  “I still can’t believe it,” she says, still using my chest as a pillow.

  “What?”

  “You and me,” she giggles. “You want to go out with me.”

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Well, you’re so good looking,” she says. “You could have anyone you want.”

  “Thanks.” I’m not sure about that, but it’s nice to hear all the same. “And I have got the girl I want. I’ve got you.”

  Propping herself up on her elbow, she looks down at me as if she doesn’t really believe what I’m saying. “Do you really mean that?”

  “Yeah.” I slip my hand behind her neck and pull her in for another kiss. “I wanted you from the first moment I saw you.”

  “Why?”

  “I dunno.” I shrug. “I like everything about you.”

  “What do you like best?”

  “Your skin,” I tell her, stroking her cheek. “I like your lips, your face, your hair.”

  She blushes again, and my heart melts a little more.

  “And I like the way you speak.” I nuzzle her cheek and kiss her soft skin. “I like the way you say my name.”

  “Gary,” she giggles.

  “Yeah.” I smile, kissing her again. I’ll never tire of hearing her say my name.

  “Gary, Gary, Gary.” She laughs some more.

  I find myself smiling up at her. “So what do you like about me?”

  “Oh, that’s easy. Your eyes.”

  “Really?”

  “Really,” she says quite seriously. “I like your eyes. They’re the exact shade of my favourite hot chocolate, and the moment I looked into them, I fell head over heels in love with you.”

  “Don’t think anyone’s ever loved me before.”

  “Well, I do,” she tells me. “I love you, Gary Ashworth, and I am never ever going to leave you.”

  I hope she really means it, because I really don’t know how I’m going to survive one night apart from her.

  The sky is beginning to turn red when I roll off her; chest heaving and body flushed from the best orgasm of my life.

  “What time is it?” she gasps, pushing the hair out of her eyes.

  I look down at my watch, still panting. “Seven, still early,” I say just in case she’s thinking about leaving. “Want a cup of tea?”

  She nods. “I expect Bill will be back soon.”

  “He won’t mind you staying.” I know she can’t stay, but I can handle it better if I think she will, so I pull on my jeans and go into the kitchen to turn on the kettle. “Do you take sugar?”

  “No, just a little milk if you don’t have any lemon.”

  I put the teabags straight in our new fancy cups even though I prefer my mug, open up the fridge door, and groan as I pull out an empty carton. Bloody Bill. He’s finished all the milk again. “No milk.” I go back into my room and get out my socks and shirt from beneath the bed.

  “I’ll have it black.” She smiles. “Less calories.”

  “You can. I hate tea without milk. I won’t be long.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “Corner shop.”

  “Do you have to go?”

  “I’ll be five minutes,” I assure her, moving in for another quick kiss and another and another. “Now don’t go anywhere, and no peeking at your portrait!”

  I’m feeling pretty damn good, I can tell you. The prettiest girl in London is waiting for me in my bed, and she’s crazy about me. I get two pints of milk, enough for the morning too (because there’s no way I’m going to leave her in my bed just so Bill’s got milk for his cornflakes). Lighting up a smoke, I turn down the alley, my thoughts somewhere between the sheets with Tammy, when he steps out from nowhere and blocks my path.

  I freeze where I’m standing when I realise the bloke with the smashed-in face is the bastard I pulled off Tammy in the park. He laughs and takes a step towards me. Arrogant little shit. Doesn’t he realise I could kick his puny arse with one hand tied behind my back?

  I take another drag of my smoke, show him I’m not the slightest bit scared, because let’s fac
e it, you’ve immediately got one over on the other bloke if they’re shitting themselves. And then I remember that woman from the Social Services telling me if I get into any more fights, they’ll take Jack away, and even though I’m dying to kick the shit out of him again, make that bastard pay once and for all for what he did to my Tammy, I’ve got too much to lose.

  “You ain’t worth the effort,” I tell him, taking another drag. “Now piss off before I change my mind!”

  He takes another step forward, smiling to reveal a mouth of missing teeth. “I ain’t going anywhere, mate. And neither are you!”

  I’m not worried, not till I hear this crunch behind me, and then my heart starts thumping against my chest. I don’t need to turn round to know his mate, that big ugly bastard, is behind me, ’cos there’s no way that little shit would be so damn confident if he were on his own.

  “Wot’s up, mate?” laughs the skinny one, advancing forward. “Don’t you fancy your chances anymore?”

  I glance over my shoulder. I have to so I can size him up. Trying to act much tougher than I really am, I swallow. I was right: his fat mate is there, and the bastard is even bigger than I remember.

  Adrenaline rushing through me, my breath fast and ragged, I size up each of them, my thoughts all over the place, because all I can hear is my pulse pounding my brain. The thin one, I can take him, but if I leg it in that direction, I’m going to lead him right to my front door, and I don’t want that psycho finding out where I live.

  No, going home is out of the question. Think, Gary, think. Trying to ignore the fear taking possession of my thoughts, I force myself to focus. I’m fast. I can run, and the chances are they won’t come after me if I get back on the main road. They’re not going to risk getting nicked just to get back at me. And if they do, I bet I can make it as far as the pub, where’s there’s ten of my mates there to back me up. I take a couple of deep breaths, try and slow my breathing. I’ve got no choice. I’ve got to take the fat one on.

  They both take another step forward, closing in on me, and this sort of clammy sweat springs up all over my body. If I’m going to do it, it’s got to be now or never. I can’t leave it any longer. Luckily, my heart is beating so loud I can’t even hear my fear. Racing forward, I slam Fatty into the wall as hard as I can. Ignoring the searing pain in my shoulder, I scramble to my feet, the road in my sights, when this almighty crack fills my head. I go down hard, my brain screaming, as a kaleidoscope of red spots explodes before my eyes.